The Viper (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

 Fresno Air Guard F-16

Jad Dennis

An homage to those sad souls fortunate enough to have flown the F-16 and tearful enough to be flying it no more. Especially those Raggedy Ass Militia (Air Guardsmen) who flew on Weekend Drills.  To General Dynamics/Lockheed Martin and Air Force officials it’s the F-16 “Fighting Falcon,” but to the guys that flew it it’s simply “The Viper.”

As all wives and girlfriends know, fighter pilots are nothing more than little boys dressed up in funny looking green suits with lots of zippers – Dr. Seuss is just their speed!

   

Did you drive the Viper jet?
Did you drive it during Drill?
Was it cool as cool can be,
Or was it just your average thrill?

Did you drive them in the day?
Did you drive them in the dark?
Was it only for the bucks,
Or would you do on a lark?

Did you drive the Viper jet?
Did you drive it till you cried?
Told your spouse was such hard work.
She always knew you really lied.

Were you Grinder, Howdy, Mork,
Or were you Siko, Gruve or Pork?
You don’t get to choose your tag.
Just ask the one that we called Dork.

Did you eat RAW eggs and ham?
Did you eat them on a bet?
Would you do it every day,
If you could fly just One More Jet?

Did you ever pinch yourself?
Did you ever question why?
You’re among the chosen ones
To spend your life above the sky.

Would you… could you…
Ahh, what the hell!
It’s time to bid the Viper Jet
A 9-G, Burners, fond farewell.