Chapter 5 Part 2 THE Trip "Wanda Why?"

Winter Rain Storm Utah Desert - Photo by Sam Sturman

By S.R. Oberst

It was late afternoon when we arrived at McConnell AFB. The 60 degree weather seemed warm relative to the 30 degree weather we left behind us. However, a cold front was moving through during the night, so tomorrow’s weather might be an issue. From the flight-line a crew bus took Charlie and me to the Visiting Officers’ Quarters (VOQ). LT stayed behind to do some routine maintenance and to check out the helicopter we would be flying to the Boneyard. He planned to meet us at the base flight operations building in the morning.

As we were checking in at the VOQ front desk, in walks Charlie’s check ride nemesis, Captain SK Reamer. Charlie’s Check Ride Part I and Part II) If looks could kill, both died instantly. Wow! Did these guys ever hate each other. Ignoring Charlie, SK asked me what we were doing at McConnell. I told him we were taking one of their old helicopters to the Boneyard. When SK replied that he was also making the same trip with another helicopter, I could see Charlie’s neck turn red.

Nothing else was said. Our assigned rooms were a few blocks away in another VOQ building. We got our room keys and left the office. On the way to the rooms, Charlie again offered to have Wanda hook me up. I again declined the offer. When we walked up to the VOQ, a large woman got out of a pick-up truck in the parking lot and began waving at us. Wanda greeted Charlie with a hug and a kiss. She looked about 50 give or take 10 years, although it was difficult to tell through all the make-up she plastered on her face. She was wearing a short skirt and a blouse that revealed plenty of cleavage. But with a girth that matched Charlie’s, she was not what I would call sexy. After brief introductions, Wanda said to me, “Oh, Honey, you just have to come with us. My friend Sally would just eat you alive.” While thinking to myself “not in this lifetime,” I politely declined being eaten by Sally.

Reflecting on the Previous Un-Leadership Insight:
Some male Un-Leaders may be God’s gift to some women.

While Charlie was off with Wanda, I walked the few blocks to the McConnell Officers’ Open Mess or MOOM for short. Like the clubs at most missile bases, the MOOM was a boring building with nothing happening on a weeknight. But on weekends it was a totally different matter, those missile weenies really knew how to party. Where else could one play unlimited blackout bingo and feast on all-you-can-eat faux crab meat? I went in for dinner and found myself virtually alone in the huge, drab MOOM room.

As I was about to order, in walks SK. He sees me and asks if he can join me for dinner. During dinner the conversation turned to the events of the past few months. SK seemed to have taken things in stride. He knew that Dave Evalman set Charlie up for THE Check Ride, but he was not angry with Dave. Instead, he expressed his amazement that a person as unethical and unprofessional as Charlie was a Detachment Operations Officer. He also told me that he was convinced that Charlie was behind some dirty tricks. He said his wife was pretty upset when the first package of girlie magazines and women’s under garments showed up in the mail, but after the second and third packages came, she knew someone was trying to frame SK. We chatted for awhile, and it became apparent that SK’s bark was worse than his bite. SK’s parting words to me after dinner would soon prove to be prophetic, “Don’t trust that SOB. He’s always looking for shortcuts - always trying to get the edge. Someday he’ll get what’s coming to him, so check your six o’clock with this guy at all times.”